SO, WHATS NEW – By Des Kelly

THERE IS HOPE FOR ME YET!. With previous American Presidents telling the World “I did NOT HAVE  intercourse with that woman”. Of course, he did’nt. Everyone should know that . He summoned her to his office, had intercourse (spoke) to her and after giving her the position she applied for, told her to go ahead with the job, or words to that effect. Now, he’s helping his 1st lady to get the Presidency and thereby, him, the head-job in the White House.

Then, we have another hopeful President who has NEVER “groped”. He has no time for all this stuff when he is so busy trying to rescue the neighbour’s cat trying to hide in a bush in his garden. It certainly did’nt help when he knew not the cat’s name, so as he “groped ” around in the bush; he grabbed her pussy and that was the length & breadth of it. These things should not be taken out of context. Also, he never did try to kiss a strange woman on the mouth, according to him, he just tried to be nice to her and as she turned around to run away, he kissed her on the nape of her neck. Anyone of his “staff” trying to disagree would be “sacked” on the spot.If I was’nt just a little too old, I would be applying for the job of President of Australia in order to be the main ally of America because after all is said & done :-

“I’M AWFULLY WELL, FOR THE SHAPE I’M THAT I’M IN”.

There is absolutely nothing the matter with me
I am just as healthy as I could be
Except for arthritis in both my knees
And now, when I talk, it comes out in a “wheeze”
My pulse is now weak & my blood’s running “thin”
But, I’m awfully well, for the shape that I’m in

“Arch supports”, I now wear on both feet
If not, I just “wobble” along my Street
Sleep is denied me, now, night after night
Still, when I awake, I find I’m alright
Memory’s fading, my head’s in a spin
But I’m awfully well, for the shape that I’m in

Old-age is golden, so, I’ve heard it said
But I wonder now, as I get into bed
“Hearing-aid” in a drawer, “false-teeth” in a cup
“Glass-eye” on the table, till it’s time to “get-up”
I’ve given up drinking both Arrack & Gin
But I’m awfully well, for the shape that I’m in

When I was young, my slippers were red
I’d kick up my heels, right over my head
As I grew older, my slippers were blue
But I could still dance, the “baila” with you
Now, I am half-blind & kick the dust-bin
But I’m awfully well, for the shape that I’m in

How do I know that my youth is all spent?
Well, my “get-up & go”, has all “got-up & went”
But I really don’t mind, when I think with a grin
Of the many “great places” my “get-up” has been
Most times I’m pious, but sonetimes I sin
But I’m awfully well, for the shape that I’m in

I wake up each morning, and dust off my wits
Then, pick-up “The Herald” and read the “obits”
If my name is’nt there, then I’ll know I’m not dead
Get on with my breakfast, then, back into bed
To sleep & to dream, of my “kith & my kin”
Cos, I’m awfully well, for the shape that I ‘m in

If you’re reading my story, written with “warts & all”
You’ll know I’m Sri Lankan, and that I’ve had a “ball”
My “motto” ?, don’t worry, it could be much worse
The “Limo” you’re riding, could well be a hearse
I’ve been there and done it, I lose and I win
But I’awfully well, for the shape that I’m in

There is absolutely nothing the matter with me
I am just as healthy as I could be
But when the time comes, & I have to go
I’ll leave with a smile, tell St.Peter ” hello,
Please let me enter, I know I’ll fit-in
Cos, I’m awfully well, for the shape that I’m in

GO ON, MY FRIENDS, AT MY “WAKE” HAVE A BALL
I’LL JOIN YOU, BUT I’M A LITTLE BIT “STIFF” THATS ALL

Desmond Kelly. “Star of eLanka”