ODD-JOBS by Desmond Kelly

ODD-JOBS by Desmond Kelly

Seems a shame that so many of our “Pollies” are now losing their jobs because, for one reason or another, they have been proven to have Dual-Citizenships. Right from the top-post of “deputy P.M” down to your ordinary Parlimentarians, ancestors of some, have been born somewhere else. Seems a shame, because, where else would one WANT to be born? . This Country is STILL the best in the World, the “lucky Country”, unfortunately unlucky for a few of the above & who knows how many others who may face the same fate in the future? Not everyone will be able to continue in the Political field, like our deputy P.M.

This being the case, I have decided to go through a few “odd-jobs” that these unfortunate Politicians may be interested in, until the Constitution is “Changed” in Australia. Here are a few of them (the jobs, I mean):-

1. Belly-Builder. Assembles & fits interior parts, or the belly, of pianos. There is no need for a doctorate of music for this job. Piano-tuners need that.

2. Bone-Crusher. Tends the machine that crushes the bones of animals, used for the manufacture of glue.

3. Bosom-Presser- Clothing presser who specializes in pressing bosoms of blouses or shirts.

4. Breast-Buffer- Buffs & smooths the.shoe-breast, which is the forepart of the heel.

5. Chick-Sexer- Inserts a light to check the sex-organs of chicks, then separates the males from the females. A University degree for chick-sexing is offered in Japan.

6. Dope-Sprayer- Sprays a solution named “dope” on tanned hides in leather manufacturing.

7. Finger-Waver- Hairdresser who sets in a wave, with fingers.

8. Hooker-Inspector- Inspects cloth in a textile mill for defects by using a hooking machine which folds the cloth.

9. Kiss-Maker- Mixes the ingrediants used in the making of “candy-kisses”.

10. Mucker-Shovels muck & other debris from work areas & ditches around construction sites & in mines.

11. Panty-hose Crotch-closing Machine Operator.
Operates machine that sews pantyhose crotches closed. (almost got you there, didn’t I ?)

12. Top-Screw-Supervises Cowboys, called “Screws”.

Above are some of the “better” odd-jobs on offer.

One good thing about the Australian Parliment is that, if you are found wanting, in the present Constitution, you can always find a well-paid odd job, “outside”, instead of sitting “inside” just nodding your bloody head & smiling inanely.

Desmond Kelly
Star of eLanka.

 

 

No Comments