“BREAKING NEWS”!!! by Desmond Kelly ‘the Star of eLanka’
That is what we NEED right now in Australia. Some Bloody “breaking news”. Now that the little “rocket-man” has gone a.bit quiet, President Trump is concentrating more on “Presiding” rather than “sacking’ or “tweeting”, President Putin is “putting-in” more time at the “Russian” Parliment instead of just “rushing” out to confront Trump, Channel 10, in Melbourne is concentrating on some woman who “bared her boobs” for whatever reason, and Shane Warne being the next “bachelor”(all very interesting news, but, at the same time, a lot of rubbish), we DO need something that can stir the lethargy in our brains.
CATALONIA in Spain, has been the “top” headlines on Melbourne television for the past few weeks. That is certainly “big news” in Catalonia, Barcelona & Spain, but what the hell has it got to do with Hampton Park, Melbourne & Australia? , I really don’t know. I do know however, that there is “Royalty” in Spain. They do have a Spanish King & Queen, but shouldn’t we worry a little more on the “Royalty” in Britain, where both Queen Elizabeth 2, & her “Cavalier-Consort” Prince Phillip are now in the.process of getting somewhat old, in the job, Prince Charles is concentrating more on Camilla & while Prince William is making more babies, Prince Harry is not too far from making his first,(after he gets married, of course). So much for Royalty. We have to now “think deeply”about becoming a “Republic”. When that happens we will have to have some “Goth-Food”(whatever the hell that is!), showing on Studio 10 even as I write this, with Chef Nick Whitehouse, which reminds me, for our dear Lord’s sake, President J.F.K. has been sadly “gone” now, for decades. Let the man rest in peace now, instead of trying to probe into why Harvey Oswald killed him. He was a very good President, was J.F.K. & you can believe this or not, my dear readers, when this writer first recorded the ONLY Original English Music Composition from Ceylon to be accepted by the giant Philips Corporation in Eindhoven, Holland, at the time, I sent a copy of the disc. to President Kennedy, and it was acknowledged & later “Dreamworld” became one of the favourite songs of the First Lady of that era, Jacquie Kennedy.
President Trump has far more important things to do than opening up hundreds of files on the past asassination of a really great predecessor. As for Lee Harvey Oswald’s mind? , who cares.! He was shot dead a week later anyway. Serves him right for shooting President Kennedy, in the first place.
Yes, finally, here is some really “top” breaking news, especially for my “older readers”. I have been sitting here, writing interesting, but exhaustive true stories for the biggest/best website for Lankan/Aussies everywhere, ” eLanka” (remember the name well, my friends), when I felt really stiff & tired. Since I cannot actually “go” to a “massage-parlour” (for a massage), you evil- minded ones, I decided to get myself a “Bliss”-ful armchair that, at the pressing of a button on the “remote” provided, would give me the total massage possible, to get me re-writing, so I ordered one, on line. That was the biggest mistake I made. To make a long story short, this “massage” never took place because, even after the most terrible “service” provided, the bloody armchair failed to work at all, as the remote-control went “remote” on me and wouldn’t work electronically, “at all”. I suppose, if it was an “Electric-Chair”, it might have been different & I wouldn’t be writing this at all (“thank God”, you say)!!
“Breaking News”, my good readers, take a tip and NEVER ever buy stuff such as this, “untried”. Go and sit in the armchair advertised, press the remote, get.your full massage, then buy the bloody thing if you can get a 5 year warranty on it. Trust.me. Must sign off now as I am getting “stiff & sore”, once more.
. Desmond Kelly .
. . Star of eLanka.